Mister Gorbachev, TEAR DOWN THAT PIG!

Muslims don’t like pigs. Muslims believe pigs are filthy, dirty, unclean animals. So they don’t like them. They talk some jive about how pigs are filthy animals because they wallow in dirt and they eat filthy things that no other animal will eat, and that they are lazy and stupid, and if you eat swine flesh you are consuming their filth, laziness and stupidity, which causes you to act out in sinful and dirty ways (okay, I admit it–I grew up on porkchops and sometimes I used to pee in the swimming pool), so for this reason Muslims are forbidden to have any dealings with pigs whatsoever. This comes straight from the Koran, from the mouth of Mohammed. But seeing as how I think Mohammed was a full of shit, I’m not inclined to agree with him on this or anything else. Naturally, everything he taught about pigs was all lies. Lies from a man who could neither read nor write and who was thoroughly uneducated. Keep reading, please. You’re about to get enlightened.

Pigs are WONDERFUL animals. I love pigs. I think they are so fat and pink and cute. And those little curly tails they have…adorable! They are also really gentle and calm animals. Plus, swine flesh is delicious, healthy, and so multi-functional. You can do so many things with pork, from making hot dogs to making BBQ to making roast. In the Far East Asian cultures the pig is a very auspicious animal–it is the symbol of good fortune and good luck. I’m lucky because I was born in the Chinese year of the pig. Sweet!

What got me thinking about all this was a little animal website I came across and the entry on pigs. I’ll post it here:

Did You Know:

  • Pigs are very clean animals. In fact, pigs are some of the cleanest animals around. They like to maintain separate eating sleeping and defecation areas. When given the room and freedom to decide, pigs choose to be clean and tidy.
  • Pigs enjoy private time with their newborn babies. Before giving birth, a pregnant sow will remove herself from the herd and build a nest out of leaves, branches, grass, or straw to give birth on. She will care for the piglets for several days, before leading her new babies to meet the rest of the herd.
  • Pigs are extremely intelligent. They are thought to be the smartest of all domestic animals. Pigs have an I.Q. higher than dogs and are considered by animal experts to be more trainable than dogs or cats.
  • Pigs cannot sweat. They do not have sweat glands. During hot weather they will roll around in the mud or water. Then when the wind blows over them, the water from the mud evaporates, and cools them. The dried mud acts as a layer of sunscreen. Their mucky appearance has given them the undeserved reputation of being grubby animals. Sweating like a pig, really means not sweating at all.
  • Pigs have an excellent sense of smell. That is why they have been used to search out truffles (rare fungus that grows underground) and drugs, and they have even been used to detect land mines.
  • Pigs love to play and exercise. They love running, digging, splashing in puddles, and playing with other pigs.

That’s why I say…

To Freedom! To Democracy! To Pigs! Yes, PIGS!

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